yoga pants

I've been thinking the last 2 days about 2012. So far, it's been an interesting year- and it's only March.  This year I think I've had more ups and downs than all of last year. Or maybe it's just fresh on my memory this year, but the melt-downs have been plentiful this year.

Was today one of those days?  Well, let's just say, today was a yoga pants day. Life is good, don't get me wrong. We have been so blessed and I have a wonderful husband, an amazing family, such supportive friends and so many more blessings. I have laughed and smiled today and enjoyed a good book. I have just had so many things on my mind and pressing on my heart that this year has been hard on me.

I'm tired, but I'm getting enough sleep. I'm sore but I need even more exercise.  I'm not hungry but I still eat crappy food.  I love to sew and have so many projects I want to do, but I lack the motivation.

I'm doing better at filling my day with a to-do list and crossing it off. We are working towards something wonderful and are moving forward with faith. I'm still applying for jobs and going to interviews.

Honestly, the hardest part about it all is that I have been filled with a knowledge of all of my weaknesses.
And it's my weaknesses that make things so much harder.  We need to have a better budget and save money, but I'm horrible at making dinner. I am average at so many things but not amazing at any one thing. I want to learn so many things that I spread myself too thin. I give up too easily. I get too intimated to try something I've been dreaming of doing. I need to find a job, but that's the last thing I want to do at this point in my life.  We're poor but all I want to do is spend money.

 Honestly- how do I get to my age without having better control and knowing that spending money doesn't make me feel better?  Have you heard the saying "when you can't change your life, change your hair?"   Well my new one should be  "when you can't earn money, spend it" or something like that- because I'm dang good at it.  Like the quote that I've seen on Pinterest: "I've never been a millionaire, but I know I'd be darling at it."

And don't get me wrong- I definitely need to change my hair too. The only problem is that involves spending more money.  So for now I'm going to get out of my yoga pants, pull on some jeans and get busy. Because one day I will look back on this time and be disappointed I didn't use it better.