Friday quote day

Monday marks the 16th anniversary of the Columbine High School shooting. I still can't believe it has been that long. It makes me officially old- and means that my 16 year old niece was a baby when it happened. Which means that most college students these days probably don't even know about it. 

I think this quote describes what I went through that day so well. We all broke. A whole community was heartbroken and torn apart by the pain of the tragedy. 

But slowly, slowly, we are strong in those broken places. Some days we don't feel as strong, and that's ok. We hope and trust in God that He will help those broken places heal and become stronger. And we want to share with our children what happened that day so they will know they can be strong too, even when the world breaks them. 

Wordless Wednesday

on a Tuesday

It happened on a Tuesday. 11 years ago. And yet, some days it feels like a dream. Some days I feel bad because I don't remember it as clearly as I once did. Some days I feel bad for remembering it when it happened so long ago that I should have moved on. And yet, most days it is right there in front of me, when I hear a loud noise and my heart starts beating out of my chest or the other day when a chair fell on the ground and I went into panic mode. (I joke when I told Jake I almost told everyone in the building to run to safety, but I was only half kidding) :)
And yet, I can look back now and be grateful for the things I learned that day. I came to better understand the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ and the attribute of hope. Hope in a brighter future and in the healing that only He can give. 
It happened on a Tuesday. But, as kissesfromkatie wrote, "2010 years ago, Jesus changed the world.
I bet, if we would let Him, He would do it again today. And EVERY SINGLE DAY."

That includes this Tuesday. Even if it happens to be 11 years later. How grateful I am for Jesus. 

"Just because God is God, just because Christ is Christ, they cannot do other than care for us and bless us and help us if we will but come unto them, approaching their throne of grace in meekness and lowliness of heart. They can’t help but bless us. They have to. It is their nature. When he says, “Come, follow me” (Luke 18:22), he means that he knows where the quicksand is and where the thorns are and the best way to handle the slippery slope near the summit of our personal mountains. He knows it all, and he knows the way. He is the way." Jeffrey R. Holland

 “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never will. He cannot do it. It is not His character [to do so]. He is an unchangeable being; the same yesterday, the same today, and He will be the same throughout the eternal ages to come. We have found that God. We have made Him our friend, by obeying His Gospel; and He will stand by us. We may pass through the fiery furnace; we may pass through deep waters; but we shall not be consumed nor overwhelmed. We shall emerge from all these trials and difficulties the better and purer for them, if we only trust in our God and keep His commandments” George Q. Cannon 

10 years

I know this has now passed, but for me it is just as fresh as if it were yesterday. Here are some of my pictures from going home to Colorado for the 10th Anniversary of the Columbine shooting. For me, it felt so good to be there- it helped me see that we can all heal and move on in our lives, never forgetting that fateful day 10 years ago.
Sunday night was a candelight vigil at the Columbine Memorial in Clement Park. This is one of my favorite places to go and reflect on life.













Monday morning the alumni who had been at the school during the shooting was invited to a breakfast at the school and it was so good to see everyone and talk to them and see what they have accomplished in their lives. How touching it was to feel that unity as Mr. Moore began the We Are.... Columbine shout. I couldn't make it through without the tears flowing. Truly after that day, I will always be part Columbine.

Monday evening was the memorial at Clement Park. Fitting that both of the events took place in that park, as that is the location I ran to that day after leaving the school. There were some speakers who said some neat things and they also release doves for the 13 killed and some for the 25 that were injured that day.
There were a few comments that especially touched me, in addition to being there with members of my family.
Dawn Anna, a mother of Lauren Townsend who was killed that day said, "We will honor you be being honorable."
Mr Andres spoke to Mr. DeAngelis (our principal) and said to him: it is because of you that we are still Columbine.
Mr. DeAngelis quoted both Ernest Hemingway and Patrick Ireland (for those of you who don't know- he is "Columbine's boy in the window"):
the world breaks everyone and then we are stronger in broken places. -Ernest Hemingway
I am not a victim I am a victor. -Patrick Ireland

Jake didn't get a chance to make the trip with me. If I could do it over again, I would have taken him. I think that being there would have helped him to understand how much a part of me Columbine is. But, being the sweet husband he is, he sent me flowers. Listening to people speak, and being there with some of my nieces and nephews made me think of my future children and the lessons I have learned from Columbine. Never forgotten. And the remembrance of that day will always be a part of my life and my children- I want them to learn what I did without having to go through that experience. It has made me a stronger person and I have no doubt that my experiences that day weren't just for me, but for my family and my future family.

Columbine's "Boy in the Window"

I will apologize to anyone in advance who doesn't want to hear about this stuff. And I will also warn you that as a somewhat therapeutic thing for me in the next few days, I may be posting more about it.
I cannot believe that 10 years have now passed since April 20, 1999 when my life was changed forever. This 10 year anniversary has truly brought back so many emotions of that day. And yet, it has also pushed me to realize the peace and strength I have received from my Savior since that time.
I recently watched this interview and read this article that truly touched me. If any of you have not heard of his story in the past, it really is neat:
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/otl/news/story?id=4069745
While the last week of classes and then finals week are still ahead for me, I truly felt the need to come to Colorado and be here for this anniversary. Especially in this past year when the sense of "home" has changed so dramatically for me. Tomorrow night marks the candelight vigil, followed by a breakfast at the school for past graduates Monday morning and a memorial Monday night. I will be there and I am sure go through the flood of different emotions. But above it all, I know that God allows bad things to happen to good people because a)He will not take away the agency of another and b) the purpose of this life is to learn and to grow and c) God is our loving Heavenly Father and wants to prepare us to live in His presence someday.
How grateful I am to know this. And admist the pain and the hurt, there is healing through His son, Jesus Christ.

Never Forgotten

This coming Monday is the 10 year anniversary of the Columbine High School shootings. For those of you who don't know, I was there that day.
My experience is featured on another blog, Never Forgotten for those of you who are interested.

One of my favorite scriptures that has given me strength since that day is in Romans chapter 8:

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.