A motto for me

I have many goals to work on this year, but along with them I want this to be my motto.

real

Here's a real life update. Warning: there may be plenty of deep emotional and also petty things in this post. And run on sentences.

I turned 30 at the end of May and I'm still trying to accept it. It was a long day but fun because Emily and her kids showed up on my doorstep in the morning to surprise me. She and Jennifer and my mom had put together a gift of 30 things and each had a little note on it that made my day. They are so kind and I felt so loved. Then, in the evening Jake pulled off a small surprise party with some friends that overwhelmed me and made me feel so loved.

I quit my job the first week of June. It wasn't planned and we weren't well prepared for it. I just physically could not go in any more and deal with the drama. I couldn't deal with being told "even if you are working hard it doesn't mean you are accomplishing anything" and just had to get out.

I'm still unemployed and really hope I can find a good job soon.  And I know that decisions have consequences... like the fact that we may not be able to afford our annual trip to Newport Beach next week.

But, I have been so much happier. I have been able to finish some things that I haven't touched for months and have started exercising and eating better. I clean my house now, fold and put the laundry away on the very same day I do it and don't wake up every morning dreading my work day. I'm feeling more balance in life.

I've been thinking a lot over the past few months how much our lives change and that sometimes the nature of those changes cause us to drift apart from people we love. Or to pull back.  At the beginning of this year I pulled back a lot, especially with friends who have children or who are expecting them soon. I am so incredibly happy for them and admire them, but I don't know how many social events I can go to where all I hear is talk about labor and nursing and experiences while being pregnant.
I'm trying to become more engaged and to focus on how exciting those feelings and experiences are for those I love and get over myself.

I can't believe how much was lifted off my shoulders when I quit my job. And how much weight has come crashing down again as I realize that we aren't prepared to live off of one income just yet. And how much that crushes me in thinking that if we can't even live off of one income, we are soo much further than being able to afford more fertility treatments or adoption.

I have wonderful, kind and caring friends. I know we are where we are supposed to be because of the incredible friendships we have found.  I love that all of our weeknights are often filled because of plans with friends. I love that I have now been able to have sewing days with 4 different friends since I have been unemployed and it has been so much fun. I posted two things I have been sewing on Sisterview today.

My husband is wonderful and takes on so many burdens that I, with my protections learned from the Columbine shooting of being able to ignore so many things, don't focus on.

I love going to garage sales and thrift stores. It is so much fun. We have had two friends come with us this summer and were also able to go with my brothers and parents in Colorado, which makes it even more fun.

I've been accomplishing so much more and yet, have so much that I am behind on. If you don't believe me, just go here to see how many weeds I need to pull in my garden.

I've been listening to Brené  Brown's book, Daring Greatly and it is great. If you have never seen her TED talk, you should.  She talks about shame and vulnerability; and I'm feeling extra vulnerable because I'm unemployed and trying to start to eat gluten free to see if it will help with our infertility issues.

Hopefully, in the near future I will have a job that I can start after we get back from our trip to the beach (I have my fingers crossed.) I have an interview tomorrow so say a little prayer for me!

Life is real and raw and hard and wonderful and in the midst of it, we have those around us who are living real lives too who help get us through. I am so thankful for that.

Organization

This week is my week of organizing. Remember how I'm working on balance this year, Kristen?

Over the weekend I organized my craft room and today I organized my sewing patterns into it's very own binder.

 
Not long ago I went to Staples with some of my rewards and a bunch of the Martha Stewart office stuff was on clearance.  I wish I would have bought more, but I grabbed the items I could justify at the time- including this cute red binder.

I printed some pages on cardstock as my dividers and used these cute Smash tabs to make my dividers.

 

The goal for this week was to take a room a day and organize it, but that hasn't happened so far.
Although I did start working on a family "command" area where we can keep the things we need. Currently we have a calendar with the monthly events, as well as baskets for our "dump" area so we can at least keep things contained. (so far only Jake has one and I can't find  good baskets for this area anywhere in Logan).  The plan is that by at least designating it as your area to empty our pockets or put whatever you need that it will help other areas stay tidy. We will see...
 
Still to come- a family organization binder and a better picture without the night-time shadows. :)

 Since my kitchen cabinets end right to the left of this and I am out of cabinet space, I would really like to find a cool hutch/shelf I can put in this area and use for all of my pretty dishes. But for now, I'm going to utilize it as I can until that happens. And adjust when necessary.

peptalk

I was going to write a post about how I lied in my last post about balance and that I've been doing awful this week.  But then I saw this video and it made me smile.


 Make the world awesome. Apparently the embed thing is cutting of my videos so go here to watch it.

Here are some other encouraging things I have found lately, courtesy of my sister Jennifer.


Go here.

I'm not a mom. And unfortunately I know I may never be. But I still like this post and think it applies to me.  Like moments when husband & I laugh so hard we cry.

Balance 2013 No. 1

I started the first weeks with more balance then I have had in a while.

Physically: I am eating healthier, especially more fruits and veggies. This freezing cold, however has sucked away all of my motivation to exercise. I really haven't been exercising and I really have no excuse except that I hate the cold and love my bed. And there is the minor detail of starting something new that takes up an additional 30 hours of my week but it's all about balance, right?

Emotionally: I haven't been doing well at going to bed when I should the last few nights and as a result of this, I am emotionally drained.

The resolutionary challenge is helping me find balance by keeping track of things I am grateful for. I've been asking Jake what he is grateful for every night also and writing it down. It will be fun to look back on, although I'm pretty sure heaters and warm houses are on there many times.

I started the year out reading for 15 min a day and sewing for at least 15 minutes a day. I haven't been doing it lately but have still been getting some sewing in most days. It's sad how out of balance I am already. But at least I've improved in some areas.

because I blog so little

This post is a post of randomness.

-I completed 1 quilt in 2012. 1 quilt with a backing, binding, etc. I have many quilt tops, but only 1 quilt completed. This quilt was given to my mother in law for Christmas.

 

-Logan is cold. very, very cold. 

 

- I begged Jake to let me buy him these jeans pajamas for his birthday this coming Sunday. I even told him that since the brand is "Disguise" he could get away with wearing them as jeans. Jake told me he'd pass.

 

- I decided to do Project 365 this year. The only way I will complete it is having this app that sends me a reminder and gives me a space on the calendar to put each picture.

 

-To help with my balance in 2013, I'm currently doing a resolutionary challenge that my sister is in charge of this year. It runs for 12 weeks and I get points for doing certain things each day, such as eating 7 servings of fruits & veggies, exercising, keeping a gratitude journal, etc.

- I finished my first quilt of 2013 last week. You can see the details here.

 

-My sister is hosting a quilt along and I am super excited about doing it.


It's the scrappy swoon along and you can find details here. Please join us!! My fabrics are all picked out and ready to go.

 

-Balance is key right now with all we have going on. I've picked up something extra in my schedule that I'm excited about. It has made me realize how grateful I am for mobile devices like my phone and ipad mini that helps me stay in touch and do more. 
 

2013: balance

This is my word for 2013. I have a lot going on and need to bring my life into balance- physically, emotionally, mentally.

My main balance focuses are becoming healthy again and scheduling my time.  Here we go, 2013. Let's do this.